I never fail to have a chill run down my spine when entering the foul-smelling Orgrimmar Auction House. Where does this stench come from, I hear you cry, refined readers with noses turned up aghast in horror at the mere mention of such stench. Why, from the unruly mob of adventurers who consider it normal to stand around in a modern Bank or Auctioneers geared out in ten dozen quillboars-worth of sweaty combat armour. It's as if some of these swine NEVER take it off!  There is a time and a place, dear readers! Have some consideration for yourselves, your fellow bidders and the reputation of your faction, and at least wear something casual. Better still, seek out professional help.

Of course, as any well heeled hero knows, it is best to recruit a financial advisor and skilled broker-elf to do all the elegant business of storing, trading and bartering for goods that underpins the grimy slog of defending notables like me from the wrath of the Lich King. But how to select from the throng of financiers vying for your business? The TRUE fiscal fire-mage will dress the part.

Don't touch any charlatan without the good sense to wear at least a Tuxedo Jacket and Tuxedo Pants, the standard and accepted banker's uniform. A Casual Shirt is just about acceptable, but if he wears that AND lacks refined bearing then snub him. You want someone with an eye for detail to manage your portfolio, and far and away the best way to tell if those qualities are present is to examine their attire in minutiae. Check for Antique Silver Cufflinks or an elegantly Tarnished Silver Necklace to set your mind at ease with regards to their discretion. Of course you also seek someone who's good at the damn job and has the cash to prove it, and a Noble's Elementium Signet or Gold Eternium Band should be more than sufficient shinies. Beware of cheap imitation 'bling' like Thick Bronze Necklace or Overpriced Fripperies, both are warning signs that this individual shouldn't be trusted with your children's inheritance.  Finally, look them in the eye and asses them. NEVER those awful, tawdry Ruby Shades (they practically Scream Loan Shark and Scourge Spy simultaneously!), ALWAYS that touchstone of the financier's craft: the Noble's Monocle


Dear boy, how could you?! You bought me The Rock yourself! Over-priced frippery indeed! I suppose you'll be claiming that *I* (the prettiest elf!) am an over-priced frippery next! Pout! Flounce!

17 November 2008 at 07:14  

Dear Boy, I wasn't aware you sought a career in financial services!

17 November 2008 at 07:57  

Dear boy, I'm far too pretty to work.

18 November 2008 at 01:33