The Holy Springs Spa in Stranglethorn Vale has always been THE tropical break location for members of the Zep-Set who simply don’t have the time to commit to a full workout in Mara.
My wayward associate Cantugeas and I have enjoyed several luxurious weekends there, taking advantage of the splendid jacuzzi and sauna facilities.
But imagine my horror on my last flying visit to discover that they’ve started to pandering to the hoi-poloi. There are Nagas absolutely everywhere, leaving their towels on the sun loungers and making bloodelves of impeccable lineage and self-evident prettiness queue for the steam bath.
They’re even letting Taurens in these days.
I don’t know what Azeroth is coming to. I can’t believe people are going to all this trouble over the nonsense in Northrend when the real crisis is right here in the Eastern Kingdoms.
Something must be done!
Ciao darlings,
Agrimony
A Treatise on the Potency of Purple Lotus. At the Express recommendation of the editor.
0 comments Posted by Cantugeas at 08:56“Beauty is a form of genius--is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation.” – Oscar Wilde
“Mmmrfff! Mmmmfff mff mrfff … mffft; mffrrff mfff mfff! Mrfff! Mrfff mff mrrrrfffmmff mrfff. Mmmrfff!” - Agrimony
Mrff mrfffs,
Agrmff
What we see perfectly demonstrated here are the dangers of shopping on a budget. I really would have expected better from a fellow Blood Elf. Don’t mistake my meaning, I do understand that not everyone can afford to be fabulously wealthy like Cantugeas and myself but there is no excuse for this kind of sloppiness. Haut couture at the top, oh my god at the bottom.
I have no notion of what manner of madness is currently sweeping Azeroth but it seems my strictures in a previous edition of Noble’s Monocle were disregarded. For the last time you abominably ill-dressed freaks, covering one’s crotch never goes out of fashion!
I am most peeved.
As a range of heavy metal lingerie, this leggings and suspender combination would be vulgar; for daywear it’s utterly gauche. And I cannot even begin to imagine the armour chafe. Do try to have some self-respect, dear girl. Horrific rashes are only sexy to the Forsaken.
I have to say, though, I am rather taken with the new line from Amnennar the Coldbringer. This little number was certainly worth the outlay and, although I’m not usually a fan of a bare midriff, it does provide a necessary contrast to the austerity of the overall design. The asymmetrical spiky shoulders add a little drama and, of course, a halter neck is always terribly flattering for a girl of Chastity’s, ah, build. I just adore this piece, it’s tres Arthas-chic.
Ciao darlings,
Agrimony
*Just in! Apparently this, I hesitate to use the word garment, is the latest offering from a designer new on the scene! Nogg has a sweatshop in Orgrimmar, and shouldn’t dream of quitting his day job.
One hardly knows where to begin with this but averting the eyes might be a start. Now, I know its an orc and the wretched creature probably doesn’t know any better but I think it’s obvious to the rest of us that this Lara Croft look simply isn’t working for you, dear boy. I don’t know precisely what it says about the Azerothian High Street, but it’s assuredly something dreadful, that I have to emphasise a fact that should be self-evident, even to the lower races, but:
I cannot even begin to unravel the thought processes that went on behind this choice – assuming there were any – but I can only presume it’s a bid for, and this is shudder-inducing believe me, rugged and sexy.
Dear boy, trust me when I say that when it comes to Putting Out: less is more. There is simply far too much Put available to the general public here.
As something positive to take away from this, dear boy, I do think you’re right to emphasise your legs; they are your best feature and mercifully they detract attention from your face which is quite frankly dreadful. However, I think some well tailored leathers, or some form-fitting seamed trousers, would do the job far more effectively than crotchless gimp shorts.
Ciao darlings,
Agrimony